Unicorn Meat

Unicorn Meat product photo
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“Excellent source of sparkles” indeed. It’s the wonderful retro design of the can, coupled with the unappetizing photo of hunks of meat that really make this work. Would look right at home tucked away in a cupboard with cans of soup. This terrific product from Radiant Farms would make a great gag gift or serve as fodder for a fiendish prank.

  • 4 ounces of the most delicious, mouth-watering unicorn meat available
  • Makes your urine smell like rainbows
  • Completely free range and fairly treated unicorns
  • Of course, none of this is real. It’s a stuffed animal in a can.  What pranksters!
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Some say that it’s unethical to eat unicorns.  We disagree.  The unicorn population has exploded in recent years, and the only way to keep these animals in check is to make them more popular as a delicacy.

If your curiosity is piqued, may we suggest you start with one of the leaner cuts of meat.  The unicorn hind quarters (also known as the “rainbows cut”) has a deliciously sweet taste, and pairs well with a bright, clean, white wine.

As your taste for unicorn meat matures, you’ll probably find yourself drifting away from canned meat, and toward some of the more distinctive cuts like the sunshine and dreams areas.  Of course, if you don’t keep things in check, you may find yourself mainlining the horn (the “alicorn”).  Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

If unicorns aren’t quite spicy enough for you, we’ve just found this delicious looking Canned Dragon Meat, also brought to you by the fine folks at ThinkGeek. With this combination, just mix them together, add a little water and you’ve got a stew going baby.